


Callused

by orphan_account



Series: Tumblr Fic Requests [10]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Era, Gen, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-18
Updated: 2015-09-18
Packaged: 2018-04-21 08:02:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4821512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All the progress he made faded at the end of the day, only to start again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Callused

Eren volunteered to clean the stables. It was a two-man job, but Eren often ended up working it alone, which was perfectly fine with him. It was a moment where he didn’t have to pretend, didn’t have to smile for the audience, didn’t have to act like everything was all right.

Nothing’s been okay since the day his mother died.

He couldn’t show it, though. If that was from habit or fear, he didn’t know anymore. At first, it had been to ease Mikasa and Armin’s minds. Then, it was to avoid drawing unwanted attention during training. Then, after Trost… Everything got worse after Trost. He didn’t know what he was anymore. He had claimed that he was human, but there was fear in his heart, a tightness in his chest that brought doubt to his mind. A black sludge that washed over him, pulling him down, dragging his limbs to the earth. That, if he was human, why did he turn into a Titan?

He didn’t know how it was possible, but biting his hand brought about the terrifying change. Heat, terror, and _rage_. He had no scars to show from it, his hand as unmarred as a child’s, even the old wounds from playing rough and rescuing Mikasa having healed to form new and unblemished tender flesh. Calluses built from two years of training had faded, making new blisters form every time he went to train, every time he went to shovel dirt, sweep, toss hay, or scrub the floors.

It was painful, but he didn’t let it show. Didn’t let the despair show as he lay in bed at night, looking at his shiny red hands, healed of all the work they’d done that day, ready to inflict pain upon him once again come morning. Even now, as he set down the pitchfork, stretching his fingers and looking at the blister on his hand, it was sinking back into his skin, fading away with only a wisp of steam to show it had ever existed.

“I didn’t permit a break,” Levi said, leaning against the wall, the door open behind him. Eren blinked, looking at the man before picking the pitchfork back up, scooping up more hay and tossing it into the empty stall, having already been cleaned out and just awaiting the new bed to be laid down.

Eren was halted from scooping up another forkful of hay as thin fingers grasped his wrist, the fork dropping from his hands as Levi moved his arm closer, fingers prodding his hands open to show the pink skin. Levi examined it, humming, as he traced out where the calluses should have been, where they were on his own rough, scarred hands.

“Does it hurt?” Levi asked, his voice pitched low. Eren answered as honestly as he could.

“No more than anything else.”

Grey eyes looked up at him, and Eren swallowed, his eyes flicking away to look at the stable wall, unable to keep contact with that knowing gaze. That gaze that saw more than Eren was comfortable with.

“Your act doesn’t fool me. If you want to cry, then cry. If you want to scream, to throw blame at someone, to break something, I won’t judge you.”

“Why do you care?” Eren asked, his voice harsh. The anger, rage, despair, uncertainty, and confusion burst out of him, and he snatched his hand out of Levi’s, backing away as he glared at him, incensed. “What concern is it of yours? I’m only useful for one thing here, and we both know what that is. Why pretend otherwise?”

“Because I took responsibility for you. You are a member of my team, of my squad, and your health is my concern. Both physically,” Levi said, and stepped closer, crowding Eren against the wall, “and mentally.”

“Why do you care?” Eren whispered again, his bravado lost, his anger draining into the floor, sucked away by Levi’s persistent stare.

“Because someone has to, and you won’t.”

**Author's Note:**

> **[Find me on Tumblr!](annoyinglittletwit.tumblr.com) **
> 
> I will be tracking the tags  
> fic: Callused ; series: Tumblr Fic Requests ; series: TFR


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